Back in the Game

Ok, so I'm mostly recovered, although it still hurts on occasion when I forget that I just had surgery. The last 6 days were SUPER BORING. I am under a 10-15 pound lifting restriction for two weeks so I'm not allowed to be a nurse. Apparently, if a Mom fainted or something, I'm supposed to catch her...which would be bad for my newly repaired hernia. So instead, I get to sit at the desk outside of our unit, screening people for H1N1. Basically, I take temperatures and argue with people about the visitor policy. It's a good time. And by "good time" I mean, BORING time. I worked at 8-12 hours at the desk on Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. And Saturday I worked from 7 am to 11 pm. That's 16 hours people. It SUCKED. It has also been really hard because our unit has been crazy busy (I know, I always say that, but on Tuesday they did 6 c-sections before I left at 3...the average is 2-3) and I just had to sit there and watch my coworkers struggle without being able to help them. But, I should be glad that they let me work anyway, considering I haven't been working long enough to take extended time off. And, after serving (more than) my time at the desk, on Saturday I finally get to be a nurse again. YAY!!! Turns out I am really bad at sitting still when I'm not TRYING to be lazy.

OUCH

Ok, so I'm not sure how long this will be, I don't have tons of energy just yet, but can I just say- OUCH?! A hernia repair (despite how quick and delightful and laproscopic they describe it) is not fun, not easy, and not comfortable! You don't realize how you use those core, inguinal (meaning close to the crotch) muscles to do, oh yeah, EVERYTHING! There is not one move- not sitting in any position, as possibly still as you can without even breathing-where you aren't using those muscles in a hard core (ha-ha, get it? CORE?) way. It's terrible when you need assistance just to sit down on the toilet, and then to get back up again! Yuck! Everything went well, but they said it was a relatively small hole and a relatively LARGE hernia, so there was lot's of pushing to get it back in. Also, I look like I got punched in the mouth (apparently I am hard to intubate), so it was hard for me to swallow anything. And that was just the first day. By yesterday, the pain was more under control, I was starting to wean myself off of the narcotics, and starting to feel more human. Today, I even took a shower all by myself! The worst part now is that I am antsy to get back out and do stuff, but still too exhausted to really do anything of interest. I have yet to sleep through the night (hopefully that will happen tonight because I have only taken one nap today).
I'm not sure what this means for work in the next few weeks. I am technically under a lifting restriction for the next two weeks, which I guess means that I can't go back to my normal duties... My boss is trying to figure out what kind of light duty schedule they can get me on for now....
I can tell you that when I do go back, man, do I have some new perspectives to take with me! I hate to admit it, but I have not always thought nice things about moms after c-sections who aren't just jumping to get out of bed. I always thought, I know it's rough, but just do it- it'll be better when you do (which IS the truth). Now, I have WAY more sympathy for them! I mean, I only have three, minor incisions, not one HUGE one that goes through ALL of the layers! YOUCHERS! I am not sure my actions will change much (I'm always sweet and nuturing on the outside), but I will be thinking much kinder, gentler thoughts!

Change

This week, I did two things that both mark for me my transition into adulthood. After both I went "Weird, I never did that before" and then, "Oh, yeah, I'm a grown-up now! Huh." The first was that I sat through an ENTIRE church annual meeting. I listened, I voted, I didn't "eat and run", which is my usual M.O. The second happened tonight when I sat and watched an ENTIRE State of the Union Address. I listened, I laughed, I agreed and disagreed with things my president was saying.
The reality of the situation might just be that during both of these times, I really had nothing "better" to do, but in the end, I am glad that I sat through both, and I feel like they make me a better person, a better member of society and a better grown-up.
In another "grown-up" arena, Friday I go in to the hospital not as an employee, but as a patient...I am having a hernia repaired. It is supposed to be fairly simple surgery, but think happy thoughts please! I may not post for a while when I am recovering, but I'll get back to it as soon as I can!

Piece of Cake

So when I got to work today I found something interesting...the floor had basically EXPLODED since the last time I was there! We had all but 2 rooms full, which meant that each nurse started with 6 patients...plus their babies...so 12...that's a heavy load! By the end of my shift I discharged 2, but got 2 more! It was a super busy day, but I was pretty proud of myself. I don't think I forgot anything, I got basic things done, I bonded with all of my patients- and I wore my new contacts ALL DAY!!! Also, at our staff meeting on Thursday, my boss asked me to be a part of a special "customer service" team that would work on increasing patient satisfaction because I have had increased patient scores- Yay! I am super tired, but back at it tomorrow!

Lame

Sorry, folks, we interrupt your regularly scheduled program to talk about something slightly off topic. And by "off topic" I mean that it has nothing to do with health care or nursing, but rather, to do with my life...or lack thereof.
Once again, this isn't really easy for me to say this stuff in such a public forum, but this blog has become somewhat like therapy for me, so I feel a need to write this post.
Let's start by addressing the fact that it is 7:45 on a Saturday night, and I am sitting at home alone, writing on my blog...exhibit A.
I basically, have no life. I am not trying to be dramatic, or ungrateful, so please don't take it that way. I have a wonderful (albeit stressful at times) job that I LOVE. I have an adorable house to come home to. I have two loving parents who feed me and entertain me on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis. And I have lots of wonderful friends and family who support me and love me unconditionally all over the country. But despite all of these blessings, I have no life.
When am at work I am really on my game, in the spotlight, doing what I do best. As soon as I step off Carle property, it's like I stop existing. And it's not that it's so terrible to deal with, it's just that it's so not me! Once again, not to sound egotistical or...crazy- but I am used to having a serious social life! I have always had people. People to go out with, people to attend events with, people to sit around on the couch and do nothing with. Even during the last two years of nursing school, I had some really great friends to spend my time with. As some old lady on "Grey's Anatomy" said, "People keep you going, People are better than no people". With no people close, it's hard to keep going.
I've thought A LOT about ways to combat this problem. I tried the online dating thing- that was a spectacular failure-and I really gave the whole "you'll make friends at work" thing a long time to take effect...but not so much...I thought about taking a class of some sort (that has worked well for me meeting people in the past), but when my work schedule is different every single week, it's impossible to take any class that meets on a regular basis. So. What now?
The other issue is it's getting a little hard for me not to feel bitter. I try to be a "cup half full" sort of person, but lately it's getting really really hard. Exhibit B: as of the latest count, I have 6 weddings to attend in 2010. 6. That's one more than I can count on one hand. And it's only January. And two of these couples are significantly younger than I am. That's not depressing at all!
OK, that's it. I'm done whining. Therapy Session concluded. Thanks for listening! Love you all!

Scary

I had a moment this week that really freaked me out. I realize that we are all human, and we all make mistakes, but nurses have so much more riding on those mistakes! (I also don't really want to admit that I make mistakes in such a public forum, but I want to remember this...as if it isn't seared into my brain forEVER).
There is an antepartum patient who has been on our unit since November. She is 21. She has been pregnant 3 previous times and lost each one at various stages. She is now at 30 weeks, which is the furthest into a pregnancy she has ever gotten. She mostly just hangs out on bed-rest, and we monitor her (and the baby) twice a day, at 9 and 9. I take care of her pretty often, and I know she is getting frustrated with being stuck in a hospital room for all these months. We have kind of become friends, and I joke around with her often to try and cheer her up. This week her cousin had a baby. She spent a lot of time in her cousin's room visiting, and the rest of the time in her room, feeling pretty bummed that her cousin get to go home and she had to stay. She is allowed a 5 minute walk per day, so she used it to go to her cousin's room and hang out. After hours there, I went and demanded that she go back to her room. When you are "buddy-buddy" with your patient, you don't get to be an authority figure, turns out. So after marching back to her room, she refused to speak to me for the rest of the day, and I'll admit, I didn't go in there nearly as often for the rest of the afternoon as I had in the morning.
About 10 minutes before my shift ended, a labor and delivery nurse called me to ask if I had taken care of this patient today. I said that I had, and she asked why I took the patient off the monitors one minute after the baby had a HUGE late decel (code for the baby reacted poorly to a contraction and might be in distress)...WHAT? She said I should go put her back on, or make whoever I give report to do it asap just to make sure he’s still alive (!!!!!) SO I freaked out, told the night nurse I was giving report to and long story and many phone calls made by me late at night to the unit later, he is FINE. Mostly I just felt stupid, but also panicked- this is her 4^th pregnancy, and she’s lost all the others. And this is the furthest she’s gotten, and it would just be so so so terrible if something I did (or missed) cost them his life. It was a HUGE mistake, and thank god everything is good now, but it could have easily gone the other way, and would have cost a baby his life, and me my job, and sanity, etc.
But I will NEVER make the mistake again, so that is the blessing. A true lesson was learned.

Good thoughts

"All labor that uplifts humanity and has dignity and importance should be undertaken with painstaking excellence"
~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Enjoy the day off everyone! And remember why you have the day off!