So a week off is a long time. Please don't get me wrong, I was grateful to have time to just play with my favorite friends in the city, and time to just be with my sister. However, when you have a whole week, you get a little bored, and also, you get used to NOT working. So I knew going back would be a little difficult. Add in the fact that it was my first day on my own with no preceptor and it had potential to be downright challenging.It exceeded it's potential, and I don't mean that in a good way.
The unit has been super super busy (like 11 c-sections in less than 24 hours busy). Normally, on someone's first day on their own the staff might go easy on them, giving them let's say, 3 patients instead of the usual 4 or 5. However, being as busy as we were, there was no "going easy" on this nurse. I started out with 5, and got two more (discharging one) during the shift. And of course, every single patient was either crazy, hemorrhaging, having uncontrolled pain, or, oh yeah, did I mention CRAZY?!
I cried more than once during the day, didn't get lunch until 3 pm, and only peed once. I went home exhausted and defeated. It just sucks knowing that you weren't a good nurse. I felt like a terrible nurse yesterday. And I know, everyone has bad days, but it is unfortunate that in my job not only can it be life and death, but these are moments that this family will remember for the rest of their lives. Moments that I am responsible for making wonderful and as easy as possible, which I definitely did not do yesterday. I guess I never realized how much I relied on my preceptor's help during these last few months. I was getting so anxious to be on my own and not really preparing myself for all that being independent means.
The good news is, there will never be another "first day" and it can only get easier from here on out. Right?
P.S. I got contacts on Monday, which my eyes still don't totally love, so that added to my irritation (and drug addict appearance) yesterday. I work Friday and Saturday. Wish me luck.
Katie,
ReplyDeleteI truly enjoy reading your blog. I am very interested in medical care, and, of course, your career.
Would you tell me any experience you have with "crack babies"? That issue is a subject of discussion in my work,i.e., the dangers of crack cocaine use to mothers and their children.
JT
JT- We do have the occasional "crack baby", but thankfully, most central IL mommas stay away from the more hard-core drugs. We have a lot of Marijuana and Alcohol users, but those have less of an immediate effect on the infant and I personally don't get to follow-up to see what the long term effects are. I can tell you that when a mom is a continuous user, the baby goes through some pretty hard core withdrawal during it's first few days of life. They are often jittery and screaming their heads off. We give them Morphine and "happy juice" (sugar water), to combat the pain, but mostly we just have to wait it out. It's hard. I am learning more about DCFS and Social Services than I ever cared to! Thanks for your interest. Love ya!
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